Most of people hardly can get out SELF-DEPENDENTLY of a narcotic dependence (and of any other psyche dependence as well), for it is as difficult as to drag himself with hair out of a marsh. Nevertheless it doesn't mean, that YOU aren't.equal to the task. And probably, some of advises below can be useful to you.
Soul health is delicate not less than body health,
and that, who allege himself to be free of passions,
can yield to them as easy as a man of robust health can fall ill.
F. de La Rochefoucauld (1613-80)
If you have been dissatisfied with yourself in connection with already taken place using of alcohol (of any drug), and especially Ц if it is already not the first such case, do not speak to yourself: Next time I shall drink less, moderately, etc., but speak: Next time I shall not drink neither much, nor a little. Next time will not be at all. Absolutely. Concern to this as to a serious work.
A typical mistake of an addict is to postpone taking of a ripened decision, realization of already taken one. I shall stop to smoke since New year, since Monday or even since tomorrow's morning Ц but only not at once, not now. Now I'll drink this wine-glass (or I'll smoke this cigarette) and then I'll have no more. But one ought to do just on the opposite. Not that cigarette, which I shall smoke, will be the last in my life, but that, which I have already smoked, was the last one, the next is not necessary to me, I don't want it and shall not have it. Not: I shall cease to be a drinking (or smoking) person, but: I have already ceased to be him.
Х To NOT START to drink, to refuse at once - from the very first gulp, is easier, than to STOP if it was already started.
Х An obsession is insidious. Avoid situations provoking temptation and/or doubts of the work continuation expediency (especially in the work beginning). "Be vigilant, that your temptations were feasible for you".
Х Vigilance is dulled at overloads, irritation, joyful excitation, weariness, etc. Think over in advance, how you WILL ACT in such kind states instead of what you will NOT DO. For example: Next time, when I get very tired Ц I'll tell to everybody that I'm ill, that let them do not importune to me Ц and I'll GO to bed, but NOT:... I'll NOT go to drink beer as it happened formerly...
Х Recollect in the moment of weakness and doubt, that "A noble person (цзюнь-цзы) is exacting to himself, the low one (с€о-жэнь) is exacting to others"; that "A Noble person is tried for his duty, the low one craves for a benefit".
Х If you are a believer, your pray can help you.
Х Try to act yourself so, how you would demand from your ideally obedient pupil (or servants).
Х Francois de La Rochefoucauld has noticed: "philosophy triumphs over sorrows of the past and the future, but sorrows of the present triumph over philosophy". Really, just it happens to ordinary people. Try to prove to itself, that you are not ordinary.
Х Extreme concentration of any quality generates its exact contrast - so extreme activity ("€н") generates passivity ("инь"), and vice versa. If you will concentrate at that which disturbs you, instead of to try unsuccessfully to distract from it, to not notice it, and you will try to experience it as sharply, deeply as possible, so maybe you begin to concern calmly to them, having passed through the peak of suffer.
Х Try to look at yourself as if from outside. Now HE (as if NOT me) is alive, and nothing threatens him really. It is interesting, how long HE can still live so without his drugs? Perhaps, his health state will not worsen any more?
Х Try to look at yourself as if from outside. Is it truth that HE (as if NOT me) feels unwell? Ц Yes (otherwise the problem would not exist, there would not be what to discuss). Ц Then, if HE would be ill, helpless like a baby, would HE still more unwell? Ц Yes, certainly. Ц So, it means you are now (in comparison with that) well. Ц Use that you are not helpless, are independent.
Х Try to imagine, that though spirit is in principle drinkable, but it is NOT your drink; so, though horse dunghills in the middle of a country road are eatable Ц sparrows arrange for a feast on them Ц but it is NOT your food.
Х Try to realize a difference between Me and my emotion (my persistence, need of a drug, narcotic dependence); between my emotion and my attitude to it; try to find a border between them. If this border is found, you should already struggle not with yourselves, but with something, which is linked with you, but is alien to you Ц and this can be easier.
Х Try to realize: there is not your state (or emotions) that disturbs you but your attitude to it, a tragedy which you do of it. So, the same heat of a sweating room you may perceive either as pleasure (that just happens usually) or as a torture if you have been dragged there violently, despite the fact that temperature is objectively the same.
Х Try to realize: the main is not what you feel but what you do. Pay your attention to absence of movements, to muscles relaxation, in order that your hand would lie
movelessly, but not would take a wine-glass, a cigarette, or a syringe.
Х Watch your breath. When it is difficult for you to control yourself, to refrain Ц not only from a drug, but, for example, from display of anger, Ц the breath becomes strained, frequent and superficial. Try to breathe deeply. The deeper is inhalation and fuller exhalation, the easier is not only the breath itself, but also quieter is the soul, the easier is your reasonable choice and realization of desirable behaviour, the easier to avoid errors.
Х If you have no urgent affairs, if you doubt, what to occupy yourself with, go for a walk or jog which stimulat lungs (and all organism), do not light a cigarette (which poisons, suppresses and stifles them), do not put TV on (do not open an empty "whodunit", etc.) Ц only in order to kill your time. Time is your capital. Appreciated and us it, instead of to waste, kill it.
You can expand a circle of these approaches to your problem, can alternate them or combine among themselves.
At a failure
Don't deceive yourself, don't prove that to live using a drug is better (more interesting, more pleasant) Ц everything positive that you can expect from a drug, you can attain in other ways.
"—ейчас уже установлено, что в различных точках нашего тела вырабатываютс€ эндорфины, естественные опиаты, которые успокаивают страх, боль ... ¬вод€ себе морфий, наркоманы погружаютс€ в нирвану, где нет никакой тревоги и царит полное блаженство. Ќо когда действие препарата исчезает, состо€ние становитс€ противоположным.
»менно ад страха и боли толкает человека на новое введение наркотиков любой ценой. ћожно подн€ть свой собственный эндорфинный уровень естественным путЄм. ѕримером могут служить люди, наход€щиес€ в состо€нии мистического экстаза. Ѕолее прозаично, бег трусцой более 8 км [по .ѕ. Ѕутейко Ц более 20 минут, причЄм независимо от рассто€ни€, от скорости Ц as] значительно повышает наш эндорфинный уровень, сообща€ спокойствие, быстроту мышлени€ и рождение мыслей. ¬ общем, в этом мире нам надо выбирать между удовольствием сначала и страданием потом (это путь наркомана) и страданием сначала и удовольствием потом (это путь спортсмена, например) [ƒидье √ранжорж, 1993].
don't use vain self-flagellation,
don't use vain statements like I am volitionless, I am hopeless, it is for ever.
An attitude to a failure should be the same quiet, as to a false notes at a tuning of a musical instrument.
It is known: your victory above yourself is the more difficult, hardest victory.
Your failure has given you a certain experience. Acquisition of this experience is actually a small (intermediate, partial) victory.
It will help you to make the next, more successful step to the final victory.
Easy recognize your failure.
Easy plan a next stage (repetition) of your work beginning time.
Easy analyze your mistakes and/or other reasons of the failure and find ways to avoid their recurrences.
Good luck to You!